this sucks.

You'd think that after doing it 8 times in the last 5 years I'd be used to it, but packing really sucks.

I'm not leaving right now, but all my stuff is. I'm sending it all home with a friend who is also moving back to Delaware and we went half-and-half on a U-haul truck. My whole life is sitting downstairs by the door in brown boxes (except, of course, what I can fit in my station wagon).

By life, I mean a physical representation of the last 5 years in Chattanooga and how they are all coming to a close. Life in a sense that it is moving on, and now I can see with my eyes that it's real. I don't like it. I never like it, this thing called change. Ugh.

I guess I should be thankful that it is so hard to leave, since it means that my time here was just that good to make me cry over a bunch of boxes. It's just weird putting things like my college diploma, photos of my Young Life friends from camp, gifts from my best friend, books I've read while here, clothes I've bought here, quotes on my bulletin board given to me by a dear friend, and sending them all back where I came from, where I'll have to look at them often to remind myself that this really did happen; Chattanooga wasn't just a dream.

I wish leaving it was, though. I know it's necessary, that it's one step along the path God has for me, but lately I've been thinking, This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, damn it.