so much for THAT...

Well, I have discontinued the P.O.D. As totally lame as this may seem, it turned out to be too much extra stress. Even a little, tiny, Internet-related extra stress these days is a big deal to me right now. I'm probably having the most challenging, tough summer of my life, and it just seemed unnecessary to complicate it further. I know, epic fail, or whatever. You may laugh, but now I get the chance to write actual thoughtful blog posts instead of a picture caption. And I love writing.

Besides, I am still trying to finish the Bible in 90 days. Geez, people, do you expect me to remember that many daily tasks? I can barely remember to brush my teeth (but don't worry, I've made big forward strides in that department).

p.o.d. day 15

So I am starting the Bible in 90 Days Challenge. It's really not that bad so far (I'm only on day 2 haha), especially when reading through The Message, which I really love (I know it's a paraphrase, not a translation). I just wanted to see what it would be like to read the Bible so quickly. I've only read the Bible cover to cover once in the NIV, then probably once by jumping around through the ESV over the years. Looking forward to what God will teach me!

p.o.d. day 14

I have been close enough to Brad Paisley to see the sweat beads on his forehead. I can now die happy.

p.o.d. day 13

Becca was house/dog-sitting this awesome guy this week.

p.o.d. day 12

"The Bounty Hunter." Gerard Butler. Love of my life.

p.o.d. day 11

Definitely forgot to take a picture yesterday. oh well, moving on... ;)

This is Patrick with his wife Emily, my best friend from high school. They've been married almost 3 years, and are living in England right now where Pat's stationed in the Air Force. So good to see them, which I don't get to often. I can't wait to hang out with them in Europe! :)

p.o.d. day 10

Tut-tut, looks like rain.

p.o.d. day 9

My belated graduation gift from my cousin Steve- he made it!

p.o.d. day 8

Baltimore's Inner Harbor. In the background is the last surviving warship of Pearl Harbor.

p.o.d. day 7

Micah laughs at my total lack of crepe making skills.

p.o.d. day 6

Micah came to visit this weekend. We went to the beach today and tried bacon flavored ice cream. Yes, that's right...it was...well, this is his "interesting..." face...

p.o.d. day 5

My new comforter from Ikea- the best thing I have ever slept with. ;)

p.o.d. day 4

My favorite.

p.o.d. day 3

"Don't make me the picture of the day." -Dad

p.o.d. day 2

My youth pastor Rick (don't let his appearance fool you- he is half his age), his wife Beth, and their daughter Christy, who came to visit from Iowa. We went to the beach today and ate too much food. One of the coolest families I know, and I've known them a long, long time!

p.o.d. day 1

sunset tonight.

robert frost

The rain to the wind said,

"You push and I'll pelt."

They so smote the garden bed

That the flowers actually knelt,

And lay lodged- though not dead.

I know how the flowers felt.

this sucks.

You'd think that after doing it 8 times in the last 5 years I'd be used to it, but packing really sucks.

I'm not leaving right now, but all my stuff is. I'm sending it all home with a friend who is also moving back to Delaware and we went half-and-half on a U-haul truck. My whole life is sitting downstairs by the door in brown boxes (except, of course, what I can fit in my station wagon).

By life, I mean a physical representation of the last 5 years in Chattanooga and how they are all coming to a close. Life in a sense that it is moving on, and now I can see with my eyes that it's real. I don't like it. I never like it, this thing called change. Ugh.

I guess I should be thankful that it is so hard to leave, since it means that my time here was just that good to make me cry over a bunch of boxes. It's just weird putting things like my college diploma, photos of my Young Life friends from camp, gifts from my best friend, books I've read while here, clothes I've bought here, quotes on my bulletin board given to me by a dear friend, and sending them all back where I came from, where I'll have to look at them often to remind myself that this really did happen; Chattanooga wasn't just a dream.

I wish leaving it was, though. I know it's necessary, that it's one step along the path God has for me, but lately I've been thinking, This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, damn it.

i used to think my calling was marine biologist

So last night I finished my New Staff Training assignments and to celebrate I went to the movies by myself for the first time. I've always wanted to do that. I was the only one in the theater (shocker) at 9:30pm on a Tuesday watching Disney's Oceans documentary. Somehow it won over The Last Song.

Totally worth $10 (plus $4 for a blue slushie of course).

Okay so I'm aware that there are an abundance of documentaries on the ocean and you're thinking, Disney? Really? They only know how to do cartoons, how could they make a legit documentary? Well, somehow, they exceeded my low expectations and here is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen.

In four years of production Disney somehow managed to capture the most beautiful scenes you could possibly imagine. From a mother walrus floating while cuddling her baby in her fins, to an explosive feeding of a school of fish by dolphins, sharks, and other animals, to a huge pile of spider crabs facing off on the ocean floor, to a diver swimming harmlessly alongside a Great White Shark, to ships making their rocky way over huge waves, to several humpback whales breaking the glassy surface all at once against a backdrop of Alaska snow-capped mountains. Breathtaking.

AND it's narrated by Pierce Brosnan. Good choice. It didn't narrate like other documentaries. It was more about inspiring awe and wonder and the words were poetic, not scientific. I know the point of the movie was to inspire us to take better care of our oceans, but it couldn't help but inspire a love for my Creator. I probably had mouth on the floor of the theater half the time, but it's okay because I was the only one in there. Every once in awhile I would see something and just shake my head. You came up with that? That's so cool. Wow. For me?

Just go see it.

Wendell Berry

When despair grows in me

and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water,

and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.