Tuesday, August 25, 2009

relationships or relationshits

Back in college, on my hall, I remember someone once referring to relationships with a slightly more colorful term- relationshits. Obviously this is because many relationships are full of crap. You deal with their crap, they deal with yours, and sometimes the whole relationship ends up as crap because you treated each other like crap. It's a bunch of crap.

Sometimes I feel like this, but other times I like the "ship" part of relationships better. Yes, please bear with my stereotypical English major grasp at an allegory...I promise it makes sense. Money back. You know, when you are in a boat and it's sailing up and down the waves, and when it's down you wonder if it's going to sink altogether. But then it's up again and it turns out that you are still sailing somewhere. I think relationshiPs only carry us to a destination that God has picked out for us. We might think that they exist for us to feel good and to sail happily across the waves, but I think God just wants us to make it to the other side alive and sanctified.

"That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time. When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well (in the sense that some of his bad habits are now corrected), he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly. When troubles come along-- illnesses, money troubles, new kinds of temptation-- he is disappointed. These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now? Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him in situations where he will have to be much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us."
-C.S. Lewis

Too bad I often forget this and instead freak out when they go wrong.

But today a 6 hour conversation with a ship I thought had sunk 4 months ago helped me understand that it's okay to hoist the anchor and let go. God knows what he's doing. You'll get there, and you might not feel happy the whole time, especially at first, but He is working on the parts of you that need fixing, and sometimes relationships are the best vessel of God's tough love. Even if you have to wait.

Monday, August 17, 2009

bacon and sun, sleep and fun


I recently got back from a week at Lake Martin with some of my favorite people (the Hammetts and friends), and let me tell you, words cannot describe, but I'll try.

The Week of Amazingness began when Emily and I followed Charity and Erin's car into the boondocks of Alabama and arrived late at night to a cozy cabin with enough beds for 7 people in one room. Exhausted from the 5 hour ride, we all immediately picked a bunk and hunkered down, awakening next morning... NOT to an alarm, but to pancakes on styrofoam plates with the option of eating them outside against a sunshine-and-water filled backdrop. With coffee. Ahh.

Soon we were flying across the lake in the pontoon boat in the sunshine stretched out in our bikinis and sunglasses, soaking up the warmth and feeling the breeze in our hair and I forgot what day it was. We anchored away at Chimney Rock, where you can jump from 60 feet or 30 feet to what may look like death, but it isn't. Once you get yourself to actually jump. We got out and "swam like little guppies," said Faye Hammett, toward the rock, took a picture, and climbed all the way up to where I stood for a good 5 minutes deciding whether I felt like careening downward to my doom. I did. Pretty exhilirating, though I don't think I'll be ready for the 60 foot jump for another few years....

After that I just remember that the rest of the day I took a nap, read a book, ate some more, watched some crazy old movie on the couch in a towel ("Gidget is the one for me...!"), and took the jet ski out with Em. It was one of those vacations where you eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, forget what time it is for the entire day, do something fun when you want to, and you always have someone to do it with. It was glorious. The evening concluded with Rosie running into the cabin exclaiming, "You guys, the sky is so pretty you can see the stars really good" and all of us immediately deciding to follow her and go lay on the upper deck and watch. We saw 5 shooting stars and found out later that there was a meteor shower going on all week. We laid there talking about life and time and God and constellations and how small we were. And when the intervals of shooting stars got longer and our minds were full of wonder we went inside and went to bed.

Tuesday we woke to the smell and sound of crackling bacon (like Michael Scott with his George Foreman grill, but without the foot burn, for you Office fans). There is no. better. way. to wake up. Period. Stephanie and Beth took me tubing with the jet ski and it was quite a ride. I don't know what it is about getting your arm muscles torn in two and your tongue almost bitten off that is so fun, but it is. Then we all took turns jumping off the deck that was probably 10 feet off the water and taking crazy pictures. I think I did that about 10 times in a row, which gave me swimmers ear later and once Em kicked me in the leg when we went down, but it was totally worth it.

After wearing ourselves out enough for the morning, Emily and I just layed out in the shade...yes shade. When you get that much sun, you just gotta give your melatonin a break once in awhile. We weren't even in a hurry to tan. Eventually we moved into the beautiful sun until we got bored with that and took the 2 kayaks out. The thing about kayaks is that they are hard to keep in a straight line, so we, being your average everyday novice kayakers with zero upper body strength, bumbled along spinning in circles mostly, chasing each other around the lake. I was 8 years old for one fantastic hour. Then of course we happened to stumble upon a deserted dock with a really tempting plastic yellow slide, and we may or may not have succumbed to the temptation to dock our kayaks, climb up, and slide down it a few times. "Laura I think I just saw you as your 4 year old self sliding down just now." Yeah, it was that good.

We returned to Faye and Cherry trying desperately to fix the mini sailboat. They tried a little longer, gave up, and went inside. Emily and I still had our lifejackets on, but we didn't really feel like getting out of the water or taking them off, so we didn't. We just bobbed around in the still water as the sun set for an hour or so. It is really a great vacation when you can just float around and get pruny and be totally content with that. Emily periodically got scared of the fish and had to freak out every once in awhile and I had a good laugh. Then we may or may not have changed into our birthday suits and swam some more... We washed our hair in the lake, as we did multiple times a day. I never took a shower in a real shower. It made me feel like a mermaid.

The next morning continued the bacon tradition and I had my quiet time next to Emily under the gazebo with the waves lapping around us. I remember the air was breezing through and the sky was blue and it felt incredible, even though my drowned ear was killing me. I remember sitting there watching Emily kayak across the lake by herself trying not to spin around and I just couldn't stop grinning at her, my adorable little black dot BFF paddling away.

We ate at Sinclair's, a really nice restaurant on the lake where Steph and I split a chicken ceasar salad and Beth shared her giant brownie with all of us on her birthday. It reminded me of JP's, where I worked last summer. I love restaurants that are on or next to a body of water. Especially if you have to take a boat to get there.

I finally finished reading A Severe Mercy and Gilead (I typically read like 5 books at a time). Those books just became some of my favorites, by the way. I'm sure I'll blog about them later. I finished Gilead and Emily finished the fourth Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants while Faye obsessively watched "Girl of the Limberlost," aka a very unfortunate use of film. I mean BAD. She made us all promise to give it just 10 minutes even though we only need about 2 seconds and and exactly at the end of 10 minutes we voted unanimously: this film should never appear on any television near our eyes, ever. So most of us bailed on that one. I really think I'll be okay in life.

The next day I failed at waterskiing, but at least I stood up for 2.9 seconds. Once. It is WAY harder than it looks, like most things, and my ankles totally were telling me "no, thanks, not again" after awkwardly trying to put the skis back on after awkwardly wiping out like 5 times. But hey, it was fun. Yet tubing seemed more fun, so we did that some more, except this time I was on the tube with Beth and Heidi was pulling us in the boat. I really think I invented a new sport- bodyboarding on the lake- when I fell off once. I skimmed across the water for like 10 seconds it was amazing.

I found out that Wednesday at 11am is when I will have the phone call with Chad to discuss location options for Young Life International. YIKES.

Pretty much the rest of the week was backrubs, painting nails, sleeping, movie watching, reading, bacon eating fun and I have no idea how I found my way into this family's life. But I'm glad I did (and not just because of all of the above, although it's very possible the way to my heart could partly be through cooking me bacon for a week).

Saturday, August 8, 2009

i got a new jooooob











Here (on Chestnut Street next to the IMAX and around the corner from Blue Plate) is where I'll be a hostess starting next Monday...and, hopefully, after I learn 180 types of wine and what kinds of food they go with...I'll be a server making bank because steak here costs a leg and seafood an arm.

Check out all the wine...yum
















This is the bar...this place has pretty good atmosphere, if you are willing to pay the price. Definitely a date restaurant.













God provides.

Monday, August 3, 2009

thanks eg


"...the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing...but burn, burn burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." -Jack Kerouac, On the Road

and here i am

So for awhile this blog existed pointlessly with only two lame-o posts on it. I was sort of waiting to get a new camera so that I could start posting photos and ramblings instead of just ramblings, but since a camera purchase is nowhere in the near future (I have important things to pay for like: rent, gas, food, coffee...you know), I have resigned myself to writing less visually stimulating blog posts for the time being. Besides, my life is going in all sorts of crazy directions, and I almost have to have a blog in order for people to keep up.

I'm writing this as I near the end of my first summer out of Covenant, and my first summer not living in Delaware. I am a freshman at life. It's weird, yet this has admittedly been one of the best summers I've ever had, even though it's been away from the beach. I live in a great house that is NOT on the mountain and NOT full of drama, my brother moved to Chattanooga, I went to Windy Gap, I no longer have school to think about, and I have big plans for the future. I am free, independent, and scared out of my mind.

I am waiting on the most life-changing phone call of my life- where Young Life International wants me to go. It's scary, but I really just want to know so that I can move on to getting there...I'm trying to gear myself up for the challenges I'll face in the next year, but I have a feeling that I have no idea what God has waiting for me. Story of my life! But for now I am content to live in my favorite US city and work without really using my degree while raising money to go overseas and spending time with the people I love in the ministry I love, even if it is only for one more year. I was just sitting on my couch today thinking about how God really has me in His hands. To suddenly find myself living in a seemingly random city 700 miles from what was once my home, completely happy, with a community of amazing friendships, in a life that is completely different from the one I had 4 years ago, and even from the one I had 1 year ago, is mind-blowing to me. He has taken me so far. It sure makes trusting him with the next 3-4 years of my life a little easier.