Laura's blog

so much for THAT...

2010-08-11T12:39:00.002-04:00

Well, I have discontinued the P.O.D. As totally lame as this may seem, it turned out to be too much extra stress. Even a little, tiny, Internet-related extra stress these days is a big deal to me right now. I'm probably having the most challenging, tough summer of my life, and it just seemed unnecessary to complicate it further. I know, epic fail, or whatever. You may laugh, but now I get the chance to write actual thoughtful blog posts instead of a picture caption. And I love writing.

Besides, I am still trying to finish the Bible in 90 days. Geez, people, do you expect me to remember that many daily tasks? I can barely remember to brush my teeth (but don't worry, I've made big forward strides in that department).

p.o.d. day 15

2010-07-26T22:25:00.002-04:00

So I am starting the Bible in 90 Days Challenge. It's really not that bad so far (I'm only on day 2 haha), especially when reading through The Message, which I really love (I know it's a paraphrase, not a translation). I just wanted to see what it would be like to read the Bible so quickly. I've only read the Bible cover to cover once in the NIV, then probably once by jumping around through the ESV over the years. Looking forward to what God will teach me!

p.o.d. day 14

2010-07-25T22:19:00.003-04:00

I have been close enough to Brad Paisley to see the sweat beads on his forehead. I can now die happy.

p.o.d. day 13

2010-07-24T14:41:00.002-04:00

Becca was house/dog-sitting this awesome guy this week.

p.o.d. day 12

2010-07-23T14:34:00.002-04:00

"The Bounty Hunter." Gerard Butler. Love of my life.

p.o.d. day 11

2010-07-22T21:29:00.006-04:00

Definitely forgot to take a picture yesterday. oh well, moving on... ;)

This is Patrick with his wife Emily, my best friend from high school. They've been married almost 3 years, and are living in England right now where Pat's stationed in the Air Force. So good to see them, which I don't get to often. I can't wait to hang out with them in Europe! :)

p.o.d. day 10

2010-07-20T20:53:00.004-04:00

Tut-tut, looks like rain.

p.o.d. day 9

2010-07-19T20:50:00.003-04:00

My belated graduation gift from my cousin Steve- he made it!

p.o.d. day 8

2010-07-18T20:47:00.003-04:00

Baltimore's Inner Harbor. In the background is the last surviving warship of Pearl Harbor.

p.o.d. day 7

2010-07-17T20:42:00.003-04:00

Micah laughs at my total lack of crepe making skills.

p.o.d. day 6

2010-07-16T21:58:00.003-04:00

Micah came to visit this weekend. We went to the beach today and tried bacon flavored ice cream. Yes, that's right...it was...well, this is his "interesting..." face...

p.o.d. day 5

2010-07-15T22:23:00.002-04:00

My new comforter from Ikea- the best thing I have ever slept with. ;)

p.o.d. day 4

2010-07-14T23:43:00.003-04:00

My favorite.

p.o.d. day 3

2010-07-13T23:40:00.001-04:00

"Don't make me the picture of the day." -Dad

p.o.d. day 2

2010-07-12T22:49:00.003-04:00

My youth pastor Rick (don't let his appearance fool you- he is half his age), his wife Beth, and their daughter Christy, who came to visit from Iowa. We went to the beach today and ate too much food. One of the coolest families I know, and I've known them a long, long time!

p.o.d. day 1

2010-07-11T21:43:00.000-04:00

sunset tonight.

robert frost

2010-04-30T17:23:00.000-04:00

The rain to the wind said,

"You push and I'll pelt."

They so smote the garden bed

That the flowers actually knelt,

And lay lodged- though not dead.

I know how the flowers felt.

this sucks.

2010-04-30T16:50:00.007-04:00

You'd think that after doing it 8 times in the last 5 years I'd be used to it, but packing really sucks.

I'm not leaving right now, but all my stuff is. I'm sending it all home with a friend who is also moving back to Delaware and we went half-and-half on a U-haul truck. My whole life is sitting downstairs by the door in brown boxes (except, of course, what I can fit in my station wagon).

By life, I mean a physical representation of the last 5 years in Chattanooga and how they are all coming to a close. Life in a sense that it is moving on, and now I can see with my eyes that it's real. I don't like it. I never like it, this thing called change. Ugh.

I guess I should be thankful that it is so hard to leave, since it means that my time here was just that good to make me cry over a bunch of boxes. It's just weird putting things like my college diploma, photos of my Young Life friends from camp, gifts from my best friend, books I've read while here, clothes I've bought here, quotes on my bulletin board given to me by a dear friend, and sending them all back where I came from, where I'll have to look at them often to remind myself that this really did happen; Chattanooga wasn't just a dream.

I wish leaving it was, though. I know it's necessary, that it's one step along the path God has for me, but lately I've been thinking, This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, damn it.

i used to think my calling was marine biologist

2010-04-28T09:55:00.003-04:00

So last night I finished my New Staff Training assignments and to celebrate I went to the movies by myself for the first time. I've always wanted to do that. I was the only one in the theater (shocker) at 9:30pm on a Tuesday watching Disney's Oceans documentary. Somehow it won over The Last Song.

Totally worth $10 (plus $4 for a blue slushie of course).

Okay so I'm aware that there are an abundance of documentaries on the ocean and you're thinking, Disney? Really? They only know how to do cartoons, how could they make a legit documentary? Well, somehow, they exceeded my low expectations and here is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen.

In four years of production Disney somehow managed to capture the most beautiful scenes you could possibly imagine. From a mother walrus floating while cuddling her baby in her fins, to an explosive feeding of a school of fish by dolphins, sharks, and other animals, to a huge pile of spider crabs facing off on the ocean floor, to a diver swimming harmlessly alongside a Great White Shark, to ships making their rocky way over huge waves, to several humpback whales breaking the glassy surface all at once against a backdrop of Alaska snow-capped mountains. Breathtaking.

AND it's narrated by Pierce Brosnan. Good choice. It didn't narrate like other documentaries. It was more about inspiring awe and wonder and the words were poetic, not scientific. I know the point of the movie was to inspire us to take better care of our oceans, but it couldn't help but inspire a love for my Creator. I probably had mouth on the floor of the theater half the time, but it's okay because I was the only one in there. Every once in awhile I would see something and just shake my head. You came up with that? That's so cool. Wow. For me?

Just go see it.

Wendell Berry

2010-03-14T23:34:00.004-04:00

When despair grows in me

and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water,

and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

sunshine on purpose

2009-12-05T11:14:00.016-05:00

Yesterday I was feeling miserable about life and people and myself and was just totally burnt out so I bought myself an egg nog milkshake and fries and came home and watched a depressing movie about finding love til I couldn't keep my eyes open.

This morning I woke up to the sound of the neighborhood kids playing outside and I just knew from the happy tone of their voice that it had, after all, snowed! I looked at my phone and it was only 8:30am but I was somehow wide awake after looking out the window (snow does that). So I pried myself out of my warm bed and went downstairs to make coffee, my mood instantly going up a few notches just because some cold white stuff fell on the ground outside.

Saturdays are usually my time for an extended time with Jesus since all week has been mornings when I have to watch the clock before I have to leave to do something or another so I don't have time to simply sit with him. And this week I'd been really bad at spending any time with him at all, and my mood proved it. So I plopped down on my couch, still in a pretty crappy mood. And something warm and bright interrupted:

The sun. Streaming through my window!

Before getting out of bed, Facebook chat with Mari saying: "have a great day! Look! the sun is coming out!!"

Re-reading this great blog post by my good friend Peri because I needed some encouragement: "...I love making the sun shine on you for your pleasure..."

Chris Rice's "Smellin' Coffee" playing on my iTunes:

"I'm smellin' coffee

The birds are singin' just outside

Here comes your mercy

Streamin' in with the mornin' light

My heart's racin'

Wakin' up to your smile

Good mornin'"

All that. On purpose. I LOVE it when He does that. Exactly when I need it.

Bonus: a picture of the snow out my favorite window:

fast-paced and irresponsible

2009-10-31T11:56:00.003-04:00

The parental units arrived on Thursday evening at about 6pm and ever since we have been doing things non-stop (such as: Mudpie on Thursday night with so many faces I love all belting out Emily Grace's "I Love Chattanooga" and a cover of "Wagon Wheel" while filming a music video--a visit to my Greyfriar's abode--trading old, dusty books stored in Delaware for music and movies at McKay's for 3 hours--the most expensive [and delicious] dinner I have ever eaten at Hennen's with an abundance of compliments thrown my way by the staff I love working with--a small but first dose of Mountain Opry, the epitome of Tennessee--and today awaits).

I have not had time to think of things to be responsible about, like cleaning, or support raising, or worry about paying bills (because in fact, the Bank of Dad is right here- how convenient). Nothing like having your security blankets for the first 18 years of life around to keep you from worrying about real life crap. Except it also makes you feel older...and that's kind of a slap in the face sometimes.

I started listening to Chris Rice's Living Room Sessions Christmas CD today (which, by the way, is beautiful- it's only piano). McKay's, it turns out, has a special bin for all Christmas music, categorized, cheap, and waiting to be bought a month too early. Now how am I supposed to pass that up? Exactly. Yay Christmas.

it's official, i miss covenant

2009-10-25T17:04:00.002-04:00

I went up to Covenant yesterday to meet the always-wonderful-to-hang-out-with Peri to go for a spontaneous run around campus. The air was cold, it was cloudy, but the trees…oh, the trees…still managed to shine some light on us as we ran and it was GORGEOUS. I hadn’t really noticed that fall foliage had arrived until I drove up Lookout Mountain with my mouth open. I love fall.

We managed to get in some good conversation despite our huffing and puffing up the hills with half frozen lungs, and we also did some quiet walking and lots of stretching. It was sort of bizarre to be running around my ex-college while whining about how we were going to be into our MID-TWENTIES soon and noting every 5 minutes the fact that we didn’t recognize anyone on campus.

We caught what we thought was the last of the soccer game, saw a few fellow alumni and those left behind. Lately I’ve found myself feeling so incredibly glad I am out of Covenant, but yesterday I stood there in the freezing cold wind listening to the siblings of my graduated friends cheer, “Ohhh CC, ohhh CC” to the Scots on the field, heard the familiar whistle blowing, and all of the sudden there was an ache for that place. As we’d walked to the game, Peri goes, “I am drinking tea and walking around Covenant, when was the last time THIS happened?” And I agreed. It’s the little things we miss. The way the buildings used to look. The old Carter Circle. Drinking coffee in the library. Cheering at a soccer game. I’m all grown up now, and all my friends are moving in different directions to the military, to missions, to jobs in other cities, to marriage…it all makes me ache inside, to be back together at Covenant making it the Covenant Peri and I knew. Not the Covenant it is now. The people are different, the culture somewhat different (although we did see some guys battling with some kind of sword out on Brock lawn- oh, Covenant), and even the buildings different. My hall no longer has random paintings from previous students and carpet in the rooms and the same color hallway. Now it’s just a stage on which memories flood out and play out in my head when I go back and visit.

Even when I start to get all achy and sentimental and pensive (what a great word), I always feel this thankfulness too. I walked back from the soccer game slowly because of my frozen limbs and I just got the urge to say, “Hey God, you did a lot here the past four years. Thanks.” I can’t even list all the ways I grew, changed, learned, all the experiences I had, all the meaningful conversations that were spoken, all the lifelong friends I made, all the ways I found myself and God while at Covenant. No one knows but Him anyway. As I gear up to start the loan payments next month (insert horrifying scream here), I remember that you really can’t buy that kind of growth and that God knew exactly what he was doing. And every experience is different. Covenant’s not for everyone, but it was for me. The good and the bad, the pain and the joy, the stressful and the peaceful.

I hope that the next 4 years are as full and as meaningful. All I have to do to get the courage to continue on the road I’m on now is to look back at the last snaky and sometimes road that led to a pretty darn good place: here.

septiembre

2009-09-02T19:15:00.003-04:00

I always thought the spanish version of September sounded way better.

Anyway,

September. Here it comes...

-Military Community Youth Ministries (MCYM) Discernment Weekend in Colorado Springs (11th-14th). I am getting on a plane on September 11th. Is this a good idea? Oh well.

-THE OFFICE SEASON PREMIERE (17TH)! Need I say more?

-GREY'S ANATOMY SEASON PREMIER (24TH)! Is George dead??

-My little broddas birthday. (18th)

-Sharptop Cove, YL Fall Camp! (25th - 27th)

This is going to be a crazy month! After MCYM, I will be beginning the support raising process, so look out for a new blog just for that.

Bring it on!

relationships or relationshits

2009-08-25T00:17:00.010-04:00

Back in college, on my hall, I remember someone once referring to relationships with a slightly more colorful term- relationshits. Obviously this is because many relationships are full of crap. You deal with their crap, they deal with yours, and sometimes the whole relationship ends up as crap because you treated each other like crap. It's a bunch of crap.

Sometimes I feel like this, but other times I like the "ship" part of relationships better. Yes, please bear with my stereotypical English major grasp at an allegory...I promise it makes sense. Money back. You know, when you are in a boat and it's sailing up and down the waves, and when it's down you wonder if it's going to sink altogether. But then it's up again and it turns out that you are still sailing somewhere. I think relationshiPs only carry us to a destination that God has picked out for us. We might think that they exist for us to feel good and to sail happily across the waves, but I think God just wants us to make it to the other side alive and sanctified.

"That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time. When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well (in the sense that some of his bad habits are now corrected), he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly. When troubles come along-- illnesses, money troubles, new kinds of temptation-- he is disappointed. These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now? Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him in situations where he will have to be much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us."

-C.S. Lewis

Too bad I often forget this and instead freak out when they go wrong.

But today a 6 hour conversation with a ship I thought had sunk 4 months ago helped me understand that it's okay to hoist the anchor and let go. God knows what he's doing. You'll get there, and you might not feel happy the whole time, especially at first, but He is working on the parts of you that need fixing, and sometimes relationships are the best vessel of God's tough love. Even if you have to wait.

bacon and sun, sleep and fun

2009-08-17T23:14:00.006-04:00

I recently got back from a week at Lake Martin with some of my favorite people (the Hammetts and friends), and let me tell you, words cannot describe, but I'll try.

The Week of Amazingness began when Emily and I followed Charity and Erin's car into the boondocks of Alabama and arrived late at night to a cozy cabin with enough beds for 7 people in one room. Exhausted from the 5 hour ride, we all immediately picked a bunk and hunkered down, awakening next morning... NOT to an alarm, but to pancakes on styrofoam plates with the option of eating them outside against a sunshine-and-water filled backdrop. With coffee. Ahh.

Soon we were flying across the lake in the pontoon boat in the sunshine stretched out in our bikinis and sunglasses, soaking up the warmth and feeling the breeze in our hair and I forgot what day it was. We anchored away at Chimney Rock, where you can jump from 60 feet or 30 feet to what may look like death, but it isn't. Once you get yourself to actually jump. We got out and "swam like little guppies," said Faye Hammett, toward the rock, took a picture, and climbed all the way up to where I stood for a good 5 minutes deciding whether I felt like careening downward to my doom. I did. Pretty exhilirating, though I don't think I'll be ready for the 60 foot jump for another few years....

After that I just remember that the rest of the day I took a nap, read a book, ate some more, watched some crazy old movie on the couch in a towel ("Gidget is the one for me...!"), and took the jet ski out with Em. It was one of those vacations where you eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, forget what time it is for the entire day, do something fun when you want to, and you always have someone to do it with. It was glorious. The evening concluded with Rosie running into the cabin exclaiming, "You guys, the sky is so pretty you can see the stars really good" and all of us immediately deciding to follow her and go lay on the upper deck and watch. We saw 5 shooting stars and found out later that there was a meteor shower going on all week. We laid there talking about life and time and God and constellations and how small we were. And when the intervals of shooting stars got longer and our minds were full of wonder we went inside and went to bed.

Tuesday we woke to the smell and sound of crackling bacon (like Michael Scott with his George Foreman grill, but without the foot burn, for you Office fans). There is no. better. way. to wake up. Period. Stephanie and Beth took me tubing with the jet ski and it was quite a ride. I don't know what it is about getting your arm muscles torn in two and your tongue almost bitten off that is so fun, but it is. Then we all took turns jumping off the deck that was probably 10 feet off the water and taking crazy pictures. I think I did that about 10 times in a row, which gave me swimmers ear later and once Em kicked me in the leg when we went down, but it was totally worth it.

After wearing ourselves out enough for the morning, Emily and I just layed out in the shade...yes shade. When you get that much sun, you just gotta give your melatonin a break once in awhile. We weren't even in a hurry to tan. Eventually we moved into the beautiful sun until we got bored with that and took the 2 kayaks out. The thing about kayaks is that they are hard to keep in a straight line, so we, being your average everyday novice kayakers with zero upper body strength, bumbled along spinning in circles mostly, chasing each other around the lake. I was 8 years old for one fantastic hour. Then of course we happened to stumble upon a deserted dock with a really tempting plastic yellow slide, and we may or may not have succumbed to the temptation to dock our kayaks, climb up, and slide down it a few times. "Laura I think I just saw you as your 4 year old self sliding down just now." Yeah, it was that good.

We returned to Faye and Cherry trying desperately to fix the mini sailboat. They tried a little longer, gave up, and went inside. Emily and I still had our lifejackets on, but we didn't really feel like getting out of the water or taking them off, so we didn't. We just bobbed around in the still water as the sun set for an hour or so. It is really a great vacation when you can just float around and get pruny and be totally content with that. Emily periodically got scared of the fish and had to freak out every once in awhile and I had a good laugh. Then we may or may not have changed into our birthday suits and swam some more... We washed our hair in the lake, as we did multiple times a day. I never took a shower in a real shower. It made me feel like a mermaid.

The next morning continued the bacon tradition and I had my quiet time next to Emily under the gazebo with the waves lapping around us. I remember the air was breezing through and the sky was blue and it felt incredible, even though my drowned ear was killing me. I remember sitting there watching Emily kayak across the lake by herself trying not to spin around and I just couldn't stop grinning at her, my adorable little black dot BFF paddling away.

We ate at Sinclair's, a really nice restaurant on the lake where Steph and I split a chicken ceasar salad and Beth shared her giant brownie with all of us on her birthday. It reminded me of JP's, where I worked last summer. I love restaurants that are on or next to a body of water. Especially if you have to take a boat to get there.

I finally finished reading A Severe Mercy and Gilead (I typically read like 5 books at a time). Those books just became some of my favorites, by the way. I'm sure I'll blog about them later. I finished Gilead and Emily finished the fourth Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants while Faye obsessively watched "Girl of the Limberlost," aka a very unfortunate use of film. I mean BAD. She made us all promise to give it just 10 minutes even though we only need about 2 seconds and and exactly at the end of 10 minutes we voted unanimously: this film should never appear on any television near our eyes, ever. So most of us bailed on that one. I really think I'll be okay in life.

The next day I failed at waterskiing, but at least I stood up for 2.9 seconds. Once. It is WAY harder than it looks, like most things, and my ankles totally were telling me "no, thanks, not again" after awkwardly trying to put the skis back on after awkwardly wiping out like 5 times. But hey, it was fun. Yet tubing seemed more fun, so we did that some more, except this time I was on the tube with Beth and Heidi was pulling us in the boat. I really think I invented a new sport- bodyboarding on the lake- when I fell off once. I skimmed across the water for like 10 seconds it was amazing.

I found out that Wednesday at 11am is when I will have the phone call with Chad to discuss location options for Young Life International. YIKES.

Pretty much the rest of the week was backrubs, painting nails, sleeping, movie watching, reading, bacon eating fun and I have no idea how I found my way into this family's life. But I'm glad I did (and not just because of all of the above, although it's very possible the way to my heart could partly be through cooking me bacon for a week).

i got a new jooooob

2009-08-08T09:34:00.009-04:00

Here (on Chestnut Street next to the IMAX and around the corner from Blue Plate) is where I'll be a hostess starting next Monday...and, hopefully, after I learn 180 types of wine and what kinds of food they go with...I'll be a server making bank because steak here costs a leg and seafood an arm.

Check out all the wine...yum

This is the bar...this place has pretty good atmosphere, if you are willing to pay the price. Definitely a date restaurant.

God provides.

thanks eg

2009-08-03T15:56:00.007-04:00

"...the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing...but burn, burn burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." -Jack Kerouac, On the Road

and here i am

2009-08-03T14:17:00.003-04:00

So for awhile this blog existed pointlessly with only two lame-o posts on it. I was sort of waiting to get a new camera so that I could start posting photos and ramblings instead of just ramblings, but since a camera purchase is nowhere in the near future (I have important things to pay for like: rent, gas, food, coffee...you know), I have resigned myself to writing less visually stimulating blog posts for the time being. Besides, my life is going in all sorts of crazy directions, and I almost have to have a blog in order for people to keep up.

I'm writing this as I near the end of my first summer out of Covenant, and my first summer not living in Delaware. I am a freshman at life. It's weird, yet this has admittedly been one of the best summers I've ever had, even though it's been away from the beach. I live in a great house that is NOT on the mountain and NOT full of drama, my brother moved to Chattanooga, I went to Windy Gap, I no longer have school to think about, and I have big plans for the future. I am free, independent, and scared out of my mind.

I am waiting on the most life-changing phone call of my life- where Young Life International wants me to go. It's scary, but I really just want to know so that I can move on to getting there...I'm trying to gear myself up for the challenges I'll face in the next year, but I have a feeling that I have no idea what God has waiting for me. Story of my life! But for now I am content to live in my favorite US city and work without really using my degree while raising money to go overseas and spending time with the people I love in the ministry I love, even if it is only for one more year. I was just sitting on my couch today thinking about how God really has me in His hands. To suddenly find myself living in a seemingly random city 700 miles from what was once my home, completely happy, with a community of amazing friendships, in a life that is completely different from the one I had 4 years ago, and even from the one I had 1 year ago, is mind-blowing to me. He has taken me so far. It sure makes trusting him with the next 3-4 years of my life a little easier.

quotes from my sixth graders

2009-03-03T23:11:00.001-05:00

zakeea: why'd you break up with skyler? he's so nice!
amber: he's TOO nice. i like to fight once in awhile.

how do you spell booze?
-austin

ms. flowers: jacques cousteau, what's he famous for?
angel: karate?
ms. flowers: no, that's chuck norris.

is delaware...is that like the town you're from?
-kassidy

when asking me questions about myself on the first day, one was:
what's your favorite jungle animal?

ms. flowers, i'm in love.
-lexi, clutching her twilight book to her chest

ew, it smells like girls in here!
-timmy

it's not gonna be over til the cows come home!
-billy

aaron: they should outlaw dippin' because my dad does it and gets dizzy and if you're driving you could get in a wreck.
the principal: i dip all the time. makes me dizzy.

::bell rings::
that's a good tone.
-kassidy

josh: how many people think my new haircut looks okay?
::most hands raise::
me: it would look even better if you were sitting down.
josh: you're gonna be a good teacher.

give me your eyes by brandon heath

2009-01-30T22:03:00.003-05:00

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Wasnt it far beyond my reach?
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

I've been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone